it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Randomize