I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
