Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
