This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize