I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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