I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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