dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I am morally bankrupt
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
