So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
