and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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