If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
