Who wears a wallet chain?!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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