while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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