Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
