I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
