you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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