i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
