yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This baby is an asshole
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
