I accidentally had phone sex last night
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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