I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
