youre lurking in front of me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
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I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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