haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
