Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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