I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
