Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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