I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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