He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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