My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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