Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
