K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
