K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
this boner is exhausting
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You're breaking my sexual little heart
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
