i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
