My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.