Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
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you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
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I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now