Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.