So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she smelled like a LAN party
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
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It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.