i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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