I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
