Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
