ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
