we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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