tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
