Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
