ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
