There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
