I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
