Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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