This girl is more easily done than said...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
