she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He's on the porch naked. Help.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
