you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
