Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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