the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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