addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
