They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
