Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
