Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
being pregnant is like rehab
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
be right there i have to get my cape
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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