I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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