how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
