the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
