sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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