DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
