WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
is wine microwaveable?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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