i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
