She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
