this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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